Reoccurring Car Dreams

I have a reoccurring dream where I am driving and I crash. They've been ongoing for years, at least ten that I can remember. Everything is lucid, meaning it feels real and appears to be real, only sometimes am I actually cognitive that I am in a dreaming state.

Each setting is generally the same. There is always a treacherous, winding mountain road, a cliffside, or a harrowing drive through rush hour. The main subconscious motivation here is to reflect danger. But as the years pass, my position changes. First, I was in the backseat. The entire dream was about the struggle to climb to the front of the car and drive myself to safety, only I could never make it in time. Zoom—off the mountainside I'd go.

A few years later, my position changed. Now I am on the passenger side. I could lean over and actually grip the steering wheel but I could not reach the pedals. Splash—over the bridge I'd fall.

In 2018 I finally moved behind the driver’s seat. I have full access to the car but there are mechanical failures.

Last night I found myself in such a scenario. Again, I was behind the wheel and I could actually reach the brake, only it wasn’t responding. Only this time when panic began to rise and heightened sense of death filled the air, I stopped struggling. I calmed myself and said, "It's okay, Jamie. It's only a dream. It isn't real. Trust." And sure enough, that steering wheel turned into a Gameboy.

My youngest son, now seated at my right, turned to me and said said, "Of course it's not real, mom. It's meant to be fun! Just do it differently next time." And if that doesn't summarize life’s experiences I don't know what does.

Beep-beep.

-Jamie Homeister

 personal share / april 24th, 2017