Gaining Perspective

While driving my youngest to school last week, I noticed a very agitated driver enter the lane behind me. Huffing and puffing and wheel gripped tight, he made a dramatic show of his annoyance with every pause and stop we came to in the road. I stayed patient, breathing through the beeps of his horn while doing my best to keep space between his bumper and mine.

Now, this drivers car was considerably smaller than my own. He couldn't see around me or over me. My back window is tinted, and I knew he wouldn’t be see through me. From his perspective, he couldn't see the little girl emerging from the side street. He couldn't see her cheeks stained pink from the hustle of a fast-paced Friday morning. Or her My Little Pony bag dancing on shoulder with every step she took. He couldn't see her braids swinging in her movement. This driver was too busy being locked in the red zone. The only thing he could see was my car standing in his way.

His problem is our problem.

We rush around just as he did, blind in our own perception. We're trained to be so hyper-focused on the end goal that we forget to step back to see the bigger picture and consider how we are affecting others along the way. On this particular morning, I wasn't a mother driving her six-year-old son to school. I wasn't a wife or sister. I wasn't an artist or aspiring writer. I wasn't even a person. I was a blue sedan driving the speed limit on a two-lane street.

The driver behind me couldn't wait. I watched his mouth explode as he shifted from my rear-view mirror to my peripheral vision. I laid on the horn in a warning and it wasn't until he turned to look at me that he actually saw what I was stopping for. He swerved at the last minute, riding up on the curb of the opposite street. He wasn't even two inches from hitting her. Her hair moved— that's how close he was, braking only for a moment before taking off again.

I spent a long time reflecting on this experience. I could easily apply his situation to my own and objectively look at where I need to just slow down and observe others for a moment. How many times have I chosen to focus on my own arguments rather than to accept the viewpoint of another? How many times have I become so focused on going one way that I completely missed seeing a better route available? How many times had I hurt another because I couldn't shift away from my own opinions?

Alone, we cannot see it all. At some point, we have to put our trust in another, be it a friend, in Spirit, a teacher, the Universe, or even just the car ahead. At some point, we have to relinquish our need to control an outcome and learn to surrender to the obstacles that come our way. The only thing stopping us from experiencing our lives differently is the way we choose to perceive how life happens to us.

Who you are, your choices and your personality are reflections of your environment. Your choices shape your experiences. Your perception shapes your choices. Sometimes the only way out is to go up. To witness your world with eyes clear of the fog, ears free from the whispered opinion, the air clean from the energy of the familiar. Sometimes the only way we rise is by accepting the help of others. Don't be afraid to seek help outside of yourself. We can get so focused on just reaching the destination that it takes another to remind us there is much joy, and help, to be had in sharing the ride.

Vroom-vroom.
-Jamie Homeister