Captain of This Ship [Mediumship Channel]
Last night I awoke from a dream that began where I was standing inside an unfamiliar house. The colors were light; the room airy. The furnishings were modern with stylized geometric prints on the walls. I walked through each room in wonder, staring at the perfectly thoughtful placement of its furnishings stopping only as I came face-to-face with a senior man seated at an angular dining table. I noticed that his clothes were worn but tidy; patterned plaid and old, bibbed denim. A faded kerchief peeked out of his front pocket. He rested his hands on the top of a cane that had an elaborate carving of a mallard head, rhythmically rocking it back and forth on its heel. He stared beyond me to a shelf affixed above the doorway in the dining room. Upon it sat one of most elaborate carvings I had ever seen: a large, model ship that must have had over a thousand separate pieces. It was stunningly intricate and beautiful, yet completely out of place in this home of immaculate white linen and bold, crisp lines.
"I spent fifteen years building that ship," he said. "Each piece was carved, sanded, and painted by hand. You'll never find anything like it. I modeled it after my great grandaddy's ship. Never saw it but heard stories of it growing up. That's what I went off of—my memories of the stories," he said, tapping the side of his head with his forefinger.
A middle-aged woman suddenly moves into the room. She's carrying a bowl in her hands and places it on the table. She moves it from one place to another, turning it until it’s positioned perfectly to her perspective. She leaves the room and returns, adding more things and shifting them around until satisfaction. She looks much different than we do. It's as if her color is faded from our surroundings. There's a weird noise being emitted off her body; a low, buzzing hum. She is completely focused on scurrying in and out of the room. Some movements are slow while others skip ahead in time like an old video missing frames. If she sees us, she gives no indication.
"My great-granddaddy was an explorer," the old man continues. "A merchant. He traveled all around the world, buying and selling anything he could get his hands on. He learned the trade from his daddy, just like his daddy from did from his.
My father was an explorer too, only he never learned how to make good use of his name. He'd roam from town to town like a dog in heat. One sniff of something sweet and boy—he was outta there!" The old man claps his hands together for emphasis than stretches one arm out longer than the other. He gives a small chuckle at my surprise and leans back in his chair, heaving a sigh. With a flick of his wrist, he motions to the woman still skipping in and out of frame.
"She never could understand why I spent so much time on my carvings." He continued. "She grew to hate all my little projects. Once when she was five, she snuck into my workspace; the garage. It was off-limits to everyone, even my wife. That was my space,” he added sternly, pointing to his chest. "Maybe she jus' wanted to help, maybe she was just nosy; either way she made a big damn mess of things. Lord, you should have seen her." he says, his stern face carving a smile. "We were digging that damn paint out of her nose for a week. At the time I couldn't see the humor in it. At the time, I was too focused on what she did to my stuff. I was so damn angry, face scarlet red, the color of the mess of she left behind. It got the best of me and she never stepped foot in that room again. God damn, I regret that. I regret that more than anything else in my life.
"You ain't ever warned that wandering bones get passed down in your family, just like the color of your hair. If you're born with hot feet it's hard to stay still. You can't explain it, you just gotta go. But in order for me to tuck her in every night, I had to let my mind explore; let my hands craft the adventures where my body couldn't go. There's a penalty for that. I shouldn't have shut her out of her own exploring. I should have fed that fire in her. Now, the only memories of me sit high up on that shelf, out of reach and out of touch like I was, collecting dust in a life that's stuck striving for the perfection I taught her that she needed to hit." We were quiet for a moment and the house around us became still.
“If you could speak to her today, what would you say?" I asked softly.
"I'd say that red looks a lot better on her than white. That curiosity is a virtue and imagination is only good if you live through it, not in it.” He wiped a tear rolling down his leathered cheek and added, “I’d tell her that I'm real sorry for the way I chose to stay."
The dream began to fade as the woman continued to place things on the table. I watched her for a final moment as she sat down at the beautiful table she had created complete with a feast fit for the crown. With a slow hand and a quiet sigh, she lowered herself onto the chair at the tables head and laid down a plate for one.
May we be blessed with the courage to embrace adventure today in all it's messy, unpredictable, and creative glory.
Stories of the Dead
Mediumship Channel through Jamie Homeister